


Motherf*cker I'm Awesome.

by whyamIalwaysLoislane (Whyamialwaysloislane)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: #sorry not sorry, Alternate Universe - Human, Derek is a grump, Humour, I sowwy tree, I'm so bored, Laura Hale is awsome, M/M, No Hale Fire, Viner Stiles, Vines, Vining, i really don't like tagging on my phone, kind of crack, so if none of these work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-09 01:03:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1963062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whyamialwaysloislane/pseuds/whyamIalwaysLoislane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is a famous Viner. Derek get a little bit Addicted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Motherf*cker I'm Awesome.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry. Not Sorry.  
> This is just short crack that I felt possessed to write as me and my two awesome people, have become slightly (majorally) addicted to Vine... STILES WOULD BE A AWESOME VINER COME ON.
> 
> Stiles first vine with the vending machine and Motherfucker I'm awesome, is actually in a crack vid on Youtube. which is perfect and it's link is [HERE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAhOqqx8gbg)  
> At Specifically 4:56 however you should watch the whole thing It's awesome.
> 
> ALL VINING IS IN ITALICS, anything in speech marks in italics is VIne :)
> 
> This is so Unbeta'd I shouldn't even be posting it but I'm tired.

_Mother Fucker I'm Awesome. No you're not dude don't lie. **Crash.**_

"How many time have you listened to that bloody thing?!" Derek exclaimed, looking up from his book to where Cora and Laura are snickering over her phone. 

"It's a Vine Derek, it loops." Laura snapped, raising the volume and continuing the 'loop'. "It's this guy, and his friend, they're hilarious." 

"I don't care." Derek shrugged and returned to his book. 

"Watch it Derbear." 

"Stop it with the Der Bear." Derek growled, snapping his book shut. 

"Then just watch this vine. Just this one vine. Just one." The look on Laura's face was pure evil, what did Derek do in a past life that required him to have a sister this satanic. 

"Fine. One vine. No DerBear." Derek snarled, plucking the phone off Laura and watching it. It consisted of this very attractive guy at a vending machine, picking a Reeses, it not coming out and him knocking the thing over and walking away, to the tune of _I'm Awesome_. "I hate You."

 

* * *

 

**One Week into Derek Hale's Vine Addiction. ( _It's not a Vine Addiction if you only watch two people._ ) Shut Up Laura.**

 

"His name is Stiles." Laura quipped, drawing Derek's attention away from his phone. "Your vine guy." 

"What? How do you know? Witchcraft." 

"It's called a Job, Derek." Laura pulled off her apron and and dumped it on the desk. 

"I have a job." Derek pouted.

"You work once a week, or whenever we are low on staff, because you're 'writing'." Laura groaned.

"I am." Derek pouted. "You were saying about Stiles..." 

"Oh yeah, he came into my work with McCallmemaybe, he's called Scott. They're actually pretty awesome." She stretched across the couch. "You just missed them when you nipped into the shop today."

"What?!" Derek turned back to his phone and opened up Vine.

Like he expected there was a new vine, from both PaleSkin&Fragilebone and McCcallMeMaybe. He scrolled down to Stiles' first and watched. He'd  heard the song before and he also recognised the place, it was outside Laura's cafe. And Stiles and Scoot were serenading a guys ass as he walked away. 

The Booty in question was Derek's. 

"My butt is in Stiles' Vine." Derek breathed.

"What?" He turned the vine to Laura and her jaw dropped. "Well?" Laura asked.

"Well what?"

"You got a bae or nah?" Laura smirked and Derek shoved her off the couch.

 

* * *

 

 

**Two weeks into Derek's Addiction to vine and his Ass cameoed in two vines and is now known as the mystery butt and is the topic of many Vines.**

Derek was sat in the corner of Laura's cafe, sipping an espresso. And yes he was on Vine. Give him free Wifi and that is where he would be. He refreshed the App, and noticed the new vine from PaleSkin&FragileBone. He loaded the video, and recognised the setting immediately.

" _Back at Alpha's Treats. Wonder if Mystery Butt will make an ass-perance._ " It was tagged with the hashtags #bad puns #mysterybutt #jfc just be here okay. Derek ducked down in his booth, before remembering Stiles had no idea who he was. Sure enough, when he looked over to the counter, there Stiles was with Scott. 

"Hi, I'm looking for this one guy with a butt like this?" Derek heard his voice from all the way over there and shook his head. 

"Booth in the corner." Laura added dryly and Derek shot her a death glare. Stiles fist pumped the air, stepping away from the counter to vine in the corner. 

" _I have finally found him. Mystery Butt._ " Was all the vine contained when Derek loaded it and when he looked up Stiles was sat opposite him in the booth.

"Hi." Stiles grinned. This close Derek could see all the moles and freckles the camera didn't pick up, the flecks of gold in his eyes and stray hairs that plastered to his forehead. 

"Hey..." Derek smiled back, putting his phone down on the table.

"I don't mean to sound really cre- Is that my vine?!" Stiles looked at the phone, to where Derek had left it open on Vine and Stiles' vine nonetheless. 

"Maybe." Derek winced.

"Awesome, man. This clears up so much awkward creepiness!" Stiles flailed on the spot. "I like your butt, got a bae or nah?" Stiles leaned on the table and smiled.

"Nah." Derek grinned.

 

* * *

 

** Three weeks into Derek's addiction to Vine and he now has a famous butt and a famous vining boyfriend.  **

" _Guys_." Stiles flailed into the camera. " _Mystery butt is now my boyfriend_." Stiles flailed over to Derek pulling him into the camera shot and jumping on his back. 

" _I didn't consent to this_." 

" _Yeah, you did grumpy._ " Stiles pressed a kiss to Derek's cheek and Scott nodded. 

"First Vine." Stiles grinned, pulling Derek to him and kissing him.

"Guys. I'm still here!" Scott whined. 

 

* * *

 

" _They always do this._ " Scott voice commentated the clip of Stiles and Derek kissing with them both flipping Scott off. " _I feel so unloved._ "

 

**Author's Note:**

> You should check me out on [TUMBLR](http://gildasbitch.tumblr.com/)  
> ... Maybeee :D 
> 
> (Update: 11:18 GMT, 16/07/2014) WE'RE FIXED!!! The link Above Does work, I copied the link wrong!! thank you Illfindmyway for pointing that out :D
> 
> Also the song containing the line 'you got a bae or nah?' Is from Booty Had Me Like by Round2Crew featuring somebody else. You should go check it out :)  
> Also you could get vine. Vine be good. :D


End file.
